We just got married.
The first feeling that we had was just pure relief.
The heavy weight and burden of the wedding preparations has been lifted.
We can finally take a break from all the wedding preparations and start on marriage life as a couple.
The feeling of relief has been something that we really relish and savour.
And after all is said and done, I still have no idea why weddings have to be such grand events if the couple is not keen for them to be so.
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2. Many parents (at least, Asian parents) believe that weddings are extremely significant events in their children's lives and that one cannot hold back on ensuring that the event has to hold enough weight in terms of how it is done.
And I think the 2 factors have been a struggle for me as a person (aka bride) because firstly, I am the antithesis of the girl who dreams of her wedding day (believe me, I hardly envisioned anything about my own wedding). And secondly, I had hoped that my wedding could have been kept much simpler because it is not about the event but the relationship(s) - the familial, marital relationships and friendships. To me, I still do not know why how the event is done has to be so important.
So, to have gone through having to organize an event for so many people (some of whom we do not really know), to ensure that things look good enough, to have had to wear 2 heavy gowns and all that (unnecessary) make up, to have to go through ceremonial processes that honestly have no meaning in this day and age, to be the "celebrities" of the day when we are not the types who would like the limelight etc was really a tiring and burdensome process.
You can only imagine how grateful I now feel that the wedding preparations and wedding are over. The feeling is even better than having finished sitting for a major examination. Because at least I feel that preparing and sitting for examinations has a greater purpose of helping us grow in our thinking, knowledge and eventually getting a proper job and being a useful member of society. In contrast, preparing for a wedding doesn't have a greater purpose that compares to amount of work that had to be done.
It would have been a lot more fun and liberating if I could wear a much lighter dress, with lighter make up, lesser ceremonial things to do, with fewer guests so that we could enjoy the relationships and conversations more and soak in the reality that we are married and reflect on our marriage itself. To be honest, the day was more about ensuring everything went smoothly and looked good, rather than having time and energy to just be with friends and people who matter.
In conclusion, at the end of the day, I realized that weddings aren't for the couple. Yes, they aren't for us. Weddings are mainly for our parents and family who somehow hold on to a different value system as us. They believe that weddings have to be made to look significant as a reflection of how important a marriage is. I guess we have to learn to respect that too, as much as it still baffles me till today. Even if I don't feel like it, I'm still learning to learn to respect our differences and struggle through some issues that were triggered during the wedding preparations too.
So yes, and YAY! It is over and finished!!!
NO MORE:
- guest lists
- decorations
- heavy gowns and make up
- having to be at the centre of attention
- ceremonial procedures
- coordination and catering
- managing expectations of how, who, what, where, when *faints*
I hope and pray that myself and my husband will be able to build our marriage properly. And I hope to grow to learn to put his needs as important. And hope that we can also grow deeper in our relationship with Christ.
I hope and pray that myself and my husband will be able to build our marriage properly. And I hope to grow to learn to put his needs as important. And hope that we can also grow deeper in our relationship with Christ.
