Being older

It's been almost 2 years since the last post.
Glad I'm still alive.

It's been great getting older. This statement is probably rare in our ageist society.

One of the best things I appreciate about getting older is that I somehow care less about what others think of me. It's a very liberating experience to not be motivated by getting affirmation and approval from others. One can really move on to more important and salient things.

I also seem to be able to keep a distance from ideas, people and things. This helps me to gain richer and varied perspectives. In the past, it's sometimes hard not to take these things so personally. I've learnt that there are many ways to see things, and often there is more than meets the eye. There isn't a need to hold on to things and people too tightly or seriously.

Furthermore, I am able to give myself a lot more breaks. Part of it is due to having less energy of course, but the other part is remembering that I need not define my worth by my own definition of success and that the world can still go on without me.

I've also learnt that people are complex beings with mixed motivations, and that's human and okay. There's this proverb that speaks about being wise as serpents and innocent as doves. So true. I'm often the latter so I suppose I hope to be more of the former! This probably means that I will have to learn through mistakes and challenges in order to grow wiser.

Living in the moment is something I'm also still learning to appreciate and embrace. But I'm moving so that's something I'm thankful for. Life is short and there are certain moments and relationships that we have to seize and decide that are important for us. These are things that money and even more time cannot buy.

Life is often unfair. It's something I'm still learning to accept. Discrimination in many forms are rampant - whether it's by gender, age, race, income, appearance, ability. Gender discrimination is something that still irks me a lot on many fronts. I'm just glad that perhaps these areas are being more openly talked about than before.

There's still lots to grow in and I still have many questions unanswered. It isn't true that having spirituality or a religion (in my case, Christianity) means that I've got most things sorted. We're still work in progress.

Today is Christmas although Christmas ain't the day that Jesus was really born. In any case, I'm thankful that God came to be with us without discrimination. He became vulnerable and is present in our vulnerabilities. He became human to understand what it is like to be human. We are safe in Him to explore all our darkest thoughts, feelings, yearnings, fears, uncertainties and there is nothing we need to hide and nothing out of His control. We can rest because His work for us has been completed.