value and worth

We've certainly been brought up in a system of meritocracy, where there is such a great emphasis on performance and results. It means everything in the world to us - how well we do affects how we see ourselves, how well we relate to others or how others respond to us affects our self image and confidence.

Having grown up with such a mindset and worldview truly affects the way I see myself, others and God. I'm starting to see how much I'm "trapped" in this pattern of thinking. Don't get me wrong, I think it's fine to be excellent in what we do and I think we should not be lazy or waste our talents but put them to good use. But it's quite stifling, looking at society and even my own life, when there's such a direct link between our worth and what we can do.

I hope that I will be able to treat others with worth and dignity (incidentally it's a social work value too, haha). I want to treat others with value, not because of what they can offer, their personalities or their abilities or their "goodness". I'm quite guilty of not doing so. And I also hope that I will learn to value myself as a person because of my creator and my saviour. It's such a struggle. Grace and mercy needed. And this grace and mercy is not based on my own merit.

How liberating. How attractive.