Transitions

I've been going through a number of transitions at work. Maybe I'm taking these transitions less positively because these transitions are out of my control. I'd rather things stay status quo because status quo has been pretty good and satisfying.

I was talking to a colleague recently and she gave me the advise to "grief" over losses during transitions. I realise that many times, I don't even have time to "grief" and sometimes life goes by so fast that I don't have time to sit and ponder about how these changes are affecting me.

And the truth is that they are.

First, the changes in supervisors. I have been having quite a number of changes in supervisors lately. I don't doubt that all the supervisors in the company are pretty good. But it's the feeling of the constant change that makes me feel slightly more unsettled because I have to be more independent when handling my cases, something that I'm not so used to. It's not really a bad thing because then I will probably grow more and rely on my own resources. Guess it's just the feeling of not having that sense of stability during this period.

Perhaps, more importantly, it's the loss of my supervisor, the one that I would described as the "wise senior". Honestly, I really do miss her and her words of wisdom. I wish she would always be my supervisor. I've learned and gained so much from her. Thinking about the loss makes me feel kinda sad. I really want to be like her in future. She has inspired me much - to conceptualize cases properly, to write a decent report, to see the importance of using who I am to influence the people that I help.

Secondly, the change in the nature of cases that I'm handling. Even though in counseling, we learn this thing called "reframing", putting negative things in a more neutral or positive light, I think there are some things that no amount of "reframing" can really take away the original feelings towards the experience. Well, let's just say that it's a challenge when I have to change nature of cases that I see because I really do enjoy the previous types of cases that I had been doing. But with my new type of cases, I'm sure I'll still learn much and I will learn to still use who I am to impact the lives of others (quoting wise senior). Ultimately, it's not about the "nature" of clients I see, but also about the fact that all peoples are created in the image of God, and that's what matters in my relationship and interaction with them - to treat them with the same worth and dignity.

There are many situations that are not within my control. In particular, as I step into the adult/working world and have more responsibilities, the more I realise that it's normal that things are not predictable. I do want to trust that God has the best plan for me, even though there are times I wonder if it really is because I don't exactly feel that way.

--------- ok enough about work--------------

so.. just a song I've been listening to so that I can be in touch with my younger self. I love this song, even though it's such a teenager song. haha.
Jump then Fall by taylor swift