Is there a place for the C-M-I people to serve in leadership positions?

I am not one of those natural leaders.

And honestly, I'd rather be led than lead.. unless the leader really Cannot Make It BIG TIME or if there is no other available leader. Coordinating people and exciting people are my greatest weaknesses, which is also why I don't really respond to many forms of publicity, or gimmicks that well. I don't have a lot of interests and not many things/people excite me. If left to my own, I would rather just.. be with people who matter to me, read, blog, write...and chill.

And I'm not happening or exciting. Sometimes I think that I am a boring person. I like reading boring stuff, doing boring things. and I like serious stuff. I'm a naturally boring and serious person. to play with the youths and connect with them, takes me right out of my comfort zone. It does get slightly easier over the years though, and there are definitely times that I do enjoy playing with them.

My main service in church is to lead small groups of youth in Bible study, and to fellowship with one another. Many times, I wonder why God would use me to lead people as a youth facilitator when I'm not ANY of what it means to be a successful leader. Like, why me, when I am not good enough based on my personality, my abilities? And why me, when I don't feel that I am spiritually and morally good enough and emotionally available enough at this point in time? Why me, when I am not loving enough?

Honestly, I don't even know what is good enough. But I just know that I am not because I see a lot that is lacking in myself in many aspects. I really cannot-make-it (CMI).

As I ponder, I don't really fully know the answers. but I think there are certain truths I would want to continue to hold on in this period of discouragement and doubt:

1. My approval from God is based on Jesus' work on the cross, and not mine

Just as God chose to save me when I really cannot-make-it more than big time, it should not be surprising that God does not choose people to serve Him based on their abilities, personalities or any other attributes.

no matter how good I am as a person to serve in church cannot help me gain any more approval from God than what Christ has already done for me.


2. I can trust God with everything because He is in charge of ministry, including the things I can do, and the things that I can't

I don't need to be worried when I fail or that my personal weaknesses would get in the way of ministry, because God is still fully in control of all things and in Him all things hold together.

Ultimately, it is not what I can do, but what God can do. Not about my glory, but His.


3. I can trust that God has placed me in where I am for a purpose, and be a good steward of all that He has given me

If God places me to serve where I am, He will be faithful in helping me through everything that is ahead. I just need to be faithful, and God's grace is sufficient for me.

4. He uses trials to change me more into His likeness

In difficult times like this, as His child, I know God is not a sadistic parent who just wants me to go through suffering with no purpose. But if His chief aim is to change me to be more like Him, then I can be assured that ill be more like Him through this process, uncomfortable as it is.

Jesus Himself was not without suffering. in fact, He was familiar with suffering. He suffered because He focused on a goal that is worth suffering for - that all of us will have the hope of being re-created in the image of God. It is not surprising then when God can use suffering to make me more like Him.


So can CMI people serve in such leadership positions?

I suppose we can, as long as we have Christ in our lives, as our Lord and Saviour.