The most painful experience ever :'( .. but I survived!

I just had the most painful ordeal in my entire life - removing ear wax from my infected ear. I've never experienced so much pain before. It was so painful that at one moment I felt like I was "high" and the room was spinning. But I'm glad I braved the pain and to some extent I'm proud of myself. I've never been so fearless when it comes to pain before (I guess it's because I didn't have a choice). Thanks to my boyfriend too who was there with me, I think his presence made a huge difference, at least I had a physical hand to hold and squeeze rather than some cold metal railing beside the bed.

Now looking back it was pretty hilarious. I was in such pain before the removal process that I sort of scolded him not to go on explaining anything to me and to shut up when the doc was removing the ear wax because my mind had no energy to process any explanation when it's damn painful. But he was awesome.. such great emotional and moral support. :) And before the process, I asked the doctor my first stupid question, "has anyone gone through this before?" The answer was yes. My second stupid question was, "and they survived?" Well, I think he must have thought I was nuts or just childish and ignorant. Another stupid remark I made was that I was gonna get PTSD after the removal. And I was actually quite serious and scared of that possibility. How silly.

The doctor had actually recommended me to go for General Anesthesia (GA) in order to remove the wax because he saw how painful it was for me when he tried removing it at first try. Obviously I wanted that option, despite the risks for GA. My aunt was laughing at me when I told her I wanted to go for GA to remove the wax. She said my threshold of pain super low and she exclaimed, "what?!?! you want to go for GA just to remove wax from your ear?". I'm such a princess, aren't I? :( But seriously, it's "damn pain"- and I'm echoing the words of the doctor. So who wouldn't opt for the less painful option? But well, I didn't get to have GA in the end because it couldn't be done as I had eaten food in the morning so I had to choose between 15-20 minutes of pain (remove wax without GA) and 24 hours of pain (if wax not removed). Of course I chose the former, like anyone in the right mind would.

So today I can finally breathe. I have been suffering for the past week, over dosing myself with pain killers because my ear was so painful due to the wax and infection. I can finally take a break from the pain and the yucky medicine.

Thank God for providing the opportunity to get an appointment today to see the ear specialist. It was suppose to be tomorrow but I couldn't hold it out anymore. It was really "damn pain". I could just curse and swear every moment (of course I didn't really). I couldn't sleep last night because of the excruciating pain so I went to ask for help at the hospitals at 4am in the morning.

Thankful to my boyfriend who was making the decisions and speaking to the doctors for me when I could hardly think and "dying" from the pain so early in the morning. I really would have "died of pain" (if it's even possible) without him around. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but I really don't know what would become of me without him. I was psychologically distressed due to the pain, I couldn't really make any decisions about where to go and what to do.

And I'm really thankful to the ear specialist. He really saved my life.

Thank God for watching over us and His grace and strength even though I had little energy and even mental strength to pray or think about Him.

I feel so weak now. I should be resting. But what a memorable day.